I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
