He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
