forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
