What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
