Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
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then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
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You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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