i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
