I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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