she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
