I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
And then he peed in my hair
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