Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
