I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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