after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
