I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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