someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
