who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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