so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
