so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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