oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
