So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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