Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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