john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
