I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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