Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
