It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize