would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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