So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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