What a fucking waste of an outfit
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
