I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm always down for nudity.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
