know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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