hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
