How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
