You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
