I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize