i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
