so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
