Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
