I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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