i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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