I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
