Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
