We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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