how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
