I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I look better un-naked...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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