he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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