also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
