your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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