Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
pray to the hookup gods
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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