omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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