Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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