he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize