Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
