Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
