and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize