I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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