So drunk, too bad you don't want this
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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