Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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