So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
try to milk me bitch
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