You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
