Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
