So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
