I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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