I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
