Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
