dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
