is wine microwaveable?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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