I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
that's an acceptable place to lick
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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