Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
